Bring Me The Head Of Kelvin Mackenzie

Bring Me The Head of Kelvin Mackenzie

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

A muse of fire

Adding grist to my mill

A reminder of what he’s done

Above my writing table on a silver platter

His face staring arrogant, chin tucked in, mouth in perpetual sneer

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

Stoking the flames of everyman anger

From ignored bingo’winged housewives

Portly men on the site

To the detached dwelling self employed

Spouting their spite

Adoration to their poster boy

Standing arrogantly in a sports jacket and slacks

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

A man who has made a comfortable living

Giving the public what they want

Exploiting and creating the ignorance of the bloke in the pub

The bloke in the pub doesn’t appear on the BBC

The bloke in the pub doesn’t appear on ITV

The bloke in the pub chokes on his cirrhoses and bile

Conditioned against change conditioned against hope

Only fears and rages as he turns the back pages

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

A man that helps only himself

Silence his voice to give others a chance

Save him from himself

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

Save him from himself

A former giant of marketing and communications

And journalistic charisma

Now piddling about with afternoon TV

And column inch bile

A shadow of his former self

A sad insane figure behind a veneer of bluster

Cut his head off whilst he’s still got the fire

And remember him for what he’s done

Bring me the head of Kelvin Mackenzie

Musings From Brenda Higgins

This just in my inbox:

 

                           NOBODY’S STOPPING YOU

 

SO YOU’RE A POET, ARE YOU?

WELL BE FUCKING POET THEN

NOBODY’S STOPPING YOU

I CERTANLY AIN’T

I SEEN YOU DO A PERFORMANCE ONCE

WELL, IT WASN’T SO MUCH AS A PERFORMANCE

IT WAS MORE LIKE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

WHAT IS IT YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT ME

IS IT BECAUSE I HAVE THE CONFINDENCE THAT YOU LACK

OR IS THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE ME?

DON’T BE JEALOUS OF ME LOVE

I’M NOT COMPETING WITH ANYONE

IF YOU’RE A POET

BE A FUCKING POET THEN

NOBODY’S STOPPING YOU

I CERTANLY AIN’T

LISTEN, I’VE WORKED FUCKING HARD TO GET TO

WHERE I AM TODAY

IF YOU WASN’T SUCH A SILLY LITTLE GIRL

IF YOU WASN’T SUCH A TWISTED PARANOID FUCK HEAD

YOU COULD HAVE SOME OF THIS

BUT NO

YOU JUST WANT TO KEEP PLAYING YOUR STUPID LTTLE GAME

I OFFERED YOU AN OLIVE BRANCH

I INVITED YOU TO PLAY A GIG

BUT NO

IT SEEMS YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A POET AFTER ALL

AND WHAT’S STOPPED YOU

I CERTANLY HAVEN’T

 

                   BRENDAN HIGGINS 2007

                   THEORY OF HOMOPHOBIA

YOU’RE THE GEEZER

YOU’RE THE CEASER

GOD’S GIFT TO THE FEMALE BREED

FULL OF BOOZE

AND RIGHT WING VEIWS

YOU THINK EVERY BIRD WANTS YOUR SEED

AND ANYONE WHO IS INTELLECTUAL

IS WRITTEN OFF OF AS HOMOSEXUAL

“I WOULDN’T LET NO GAY PUT HIS COCK UP MY ARSE”

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT A GAY MAN WOULD WANT TOO?

IS IT BECAUSE

THAT YOU’RE THE GEEZER

YOU’RE THE CEASER

GOD’S GIFT TO WOMEN

GIVE SOME CHAT

AND THEY FALL DOWN FLAT

THEY ALL COME ROUND SWIMMING

YOU’RE SO CAUGHT UP IN OWN LITTLE WORLD

THINKING THAT YOU CAN HAVE ALMOST ANY GIRL

THAT YOU’RE AFRAID THAT ALL GAY MEN WILL FANCY YOU TOO

BUT NO PERSON IN THEIR RIGHT MIND

WOULD BE SEEN FUCKING DEAD WITH A TWAT LIKE YOU

BECAUSE YOU’RE A CREEP AND WEIRDO

AND YOU’VE GOT A FACE LIKE A PIG ARSE

WITH A SEVERE CASE OF DIARRHEA

SO STOP BOTHERING THOSE POOR YOUNG GIRLS

WHO ARE ONLY OUT FOR A QUIET DRINK

 AND GO HOME AND WANK.

                            BRENDAN HIGGINS

St Patrick’s Literary Festival Update

Good morning, this is Jim providing an update on the proposed St Patrick’s Literary Festival.

I have had an email from Kent Davis asking if all interested parties could meet next Tuesday at the Spotted Dog Pub on Warwick in Digbeth next Tuesday at 6pm. This will be a meeting to explain the ethos behind the gig, and what it plans to achieve. A map is provided for those unfamiliar with the area…

The Spotted Dog
104 Warwick Street
Birmingham, B12 0NH, UK
0121 772 3822
Link:

Furthermore, we have a proposed date for the event – Tuesday 16th March, at 7pm. The event will take place at the Old Crown in Digbeth, which is on the main High Street in Digbeth, positioned near the entrance of the Custard Factory. Please see the attached flyer, and forward it on to any parties that you think may be interested.

If you have any further questions then do not hesitate to contact me or Kent about this matter.

Thanks

James Kennedy

Sunday Xpress Gold

Ahhh those golden afternoons and forgotten evenings of the original Sunday Xpress at the erstwhile Market Tavern. This is Big Bren’s Combo doing Bren’s classic poem Shopping Shopping Shopping, the improv cacophany version. I want to credit the other guys too, but I don’t know all their names. But thanks to Qwoonsweird for the video.

New work by Louise Stokes

 Some artwork and a poem from Louise Stokes, exhibited recently at Birmingham Airport:

the-beauty-of-starvation-001

More

“I Saw A Big Bald-Headed Man” by James Kennedy

The sound on this is terrible because it was recorded immediately after the words came to him in a pub, but give it a go.

I Saw A Big Bald-Headed Man

“Drunk to Funk” by Big Bren

Here’s a track from Big Bren’s forthcoming concept album “The Night Before and The Morning After”

Big Bren – Drunk to Funk.mp3

He’ll be releasing it in association with local label Nectar Migraine.

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